Well, being a part of a support group isn’t something one puts on their bucket list. It is not skydiving. It is not European backpacking. It’s not even fun. It’s vulnerable. It’s raw. And above all it is real.

So, the fact that you are reading this means that, probably somewhere deep within you, you are hearing: I might need this. Perhaps life has been too serious. Maybe the therapy is a little bit too one-on-one or you simply are sick of pretending to be okay in the presence of those who would not understand even in a thousand years. Whatever you had to bring as a reason to get here, it is good.

What is a Support Group?

As it literally sounds like, it is a bunch of people who are in the process of trying to get through something hard together.

It is possibly no more than anxiety. It is maybe sorrow. Maybe it is just the life being too heavy.. It is necessarily anything, yet all those individuals have it somehow or another. You are not expected to defend yourself and you are not supposed to pretend that you are fine. You just back down and you are what you are.

Support groups; these are formed by a therapist. Others are simply people helping out people. Some people come every week. Some barely say a word. And that is all right. You do not have to give your entire story on day one. 

What Happens in a Support Group Session?

It’s not a spotlight. Nobody is going to give you a mic and ask a whole life story. A usual support group meeting appears more as a group of people who know better even, though they do not know your name yet.

There is usually a facilitator, a person who just slightly manages the discussion, keeps the space secure, and reminds about the rules. This implies such things like there is no toleration of interruptions, they should not make unsolicited suggestions and above all, confidentiality. Whatever is said in the room is not spread farther.

You are not being asked to talk when you do not want to. Really. You simply have to come up, sit back, listen and absorb it. No pressure to open up right away or ever. Some people find comfort just being around others who are working through similar things. And sometimes, listening to another person speak is what enables you to do the same.

It’s quiet. It’s soft. It’s real. But to many it is the first time they have been heard even in silence.

Does it Actually Help?

Surprisingly, yes. Not that there is something awaiting to be fixed in you, but you are not feeling quite so lonely anymore. Someone talks about the same thing that you had felt, and all of a sudden, you do not feel like the textbook case of oddity anymore. You’re just… human.

And that in itself can be a relief.

People tend to open up gradually, find a coping trick, or simply feel good knowing that they’re not alone facing things like that. You might not speak for a month and still walk away feeling lighter. That matters.

“What If I Cry?”

Then you cry. No one flinches. Nobody gives you a mic and asks about a whole life story. A typical support group meeting seems to be more of a group of people who understand things, even though they do not know your name yet.

You might cry quietly. You might not cry at all. But if it happens, know that you’re surrounded by people who get it. There’s no shame in emotion here. It’s part of the process.

“What If I Just Sit There?”

That is perfectly okay. It is not only acceptable to sit silently, but also encouraged. There are talkative people and shy ones who can hardly say something. And nonetheless, each individual adds value to the group.

You do not even have to do. You can simply exist. Healing comes with listening as well. On occasion, that is when the switch starts.

“I’m Not a Group Person”

Fair. You don’t have to love the idea of sitting in a circle of strangers. You might be someone who says, “This just isn’t my thing.” That’s okay too.

But maybe, just maybe, give yourself a shot. It doesn’t have to be perfect. It doesn’t have to become your favorite hour of the week. It just has to be a space where you don’t have to pretend.

You don’t have to share right away, or at all. You just have to show up, if you feel ready. The rest unfolds on its own.

Where Can I Find a Support Group?

Once you feel ready to give it a go, look nearby: many nonprofits focusing on mental health or clinics on mental health will post a list of groups on their websites, or in online directories. And yes, now virtual groups are a thing (big-time victory in case you are terrified by the thought of walking to a room).

There are now literally groups for everything, like anxiety, depression, grief, burnout, chronic illness, trauma, and they’re usually led by professionals or peers. Don’t get confused about which type is “right.” Just find one that feels like it might be a fit.